Another Random Entry - Posing as a Blog

 

I am feeling it, Mr. Crabs.  To say that I have been handling this COVID-19 crisis with anything close to success, would be a joke.  To say that I have been even handling it exceedingly poorly, would be a great overstatement… but I am really feeling it Mr. Crabs.  I know that I am not unique.  Everyone in the world, to one degree or another, is feeling the effects of the pandemic (Thank GOD I have not had to experience the virus first hand, or see others suffer through it personally… for that I am truly, truly grateful.)… but today, I am really feeling the weight of the isolation.  Maybe it is the weather.  Maybe it is the lack of variety in my routine.  Maybe it is that I have been staring at the same walls, staring out the same windows, or that I am just thinking the same thoughts over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over… again.

Have you noticed?  That each and every December… we think the year that was, was the suckiest year ever!  That it couldn’t have possibly been any worse?  What do we all think about 2020?  The hoax of New Year’s celebrations is that the suck is behind us and the new year will bring about the happiness, success, and progress (in what ever part of your life you are hoping will progress in a positive direction).  How is everyone feeling about 2021?  I, for one, right now… not optimistic.  Not one bit.

Part of my pessimism is surely consumed with my poor mental outlook.  But there are some real shitty things that we all have to deal with in 2021.  Let’s start by saying… Covid-19… NOT GOING ANYWHERE.  It’s here to scare.  It is here to maim.  And it is here to kill… for a good part of the year.  Even the vaccine, which probably won’t be available for more than half of the year.

Number two on my hit parade of shitty things already lining up for 2021… On January 1… Dumbfuck-Douchenozzle-Cumguzzling-Mother-Goddamn-ass-fucking waste of life… Donald Trump will still be ‘president’ doing all in his power to destroy what little that is good about life in my country.

I honestly didn’t ever think that the rhetoric about “this guy, or that guy, will ruin the country if elected” was anything but hyperbole… but had Trump won… This country… as we know it… or as we idealize it… was gone.  I feel slightly better with Biden-Harris at the top of the executive branch… but 74 million Americans were all-in on the destruction of the American experiment… and those same people are still all in.  They aren’t going away.  Our political life is still going to suck.  The forces of evil (think Republican politicians & the fuckers that believe in their vision for America) are out there.  They are nearly half of my country.

So… I want to promise myself one thing in trying to ‘journal’ or whatever the fuck this is.  I know my tendency is to be negative and sad and depressing.  I want to make sure that I end each entry with something that is positive and filled with gratitude.  I know that I have much to be grateful for.

So, here I go.  I am thankful for my health.  I am thankful for the love and support of my wife, who I truly do adore.  She is strong, smart, and loving.  I am thankful for my children.  I am thankful for the roof over my head… for my job (as it is today) and that I am still earning money to take care of my family and myself.